This is part 2 of the 2 part series on life in the fast lane, if you did not read Part 1, click here. This blog post focuses on the effect that this fast paced lifestyle has on our relationships with family, friends, kids, and significant others. We move faster and faster from this task to the next, never stopping to see what is going on around us. Im sure you can think back to a recent time where you yourself jumped from project to project and task to task without so much as looking at the time of day. We have this drive that has been ingrained in us by society that more and faster is better. When we don’t have this, we look down upon ourselves and find ways to go faster again.
This lifestyle also has great and lasting impacts on our relationships with friends, family, and out significant others. Gone are the days of calling someone up and they don’t have an answering machine (I know Im dating myself here), and you have to try calling them again later. Gone are the days in which we can disconnect and just be a husband or wife or girlfriend or boyfriend out to dinner with out an annoying buzzer taking our attention away from the other one we are spending time with. We begin to expect that others around us meet us at the pace which we live at. When others cannot or will not do this, conflict can arise.
In our relationships with our friends, family, and loved ones, we try to squeeze as much into as short a time as possible. We rush from interaction to interaction and don’t savor the time we have with those we love. As I said above, sometimes one person wants to slow down and the other one wants to speed up. When these different paces converge, they serve only to pull each other apart, not help bring you together. If you feel that your relationship is struggling I would encourage you to look at this part of your relationship and see if you or your spouse is the one being slow and the other being fast. Once you see this, you can begin to help each other slow down and begin to savor the relationship as being something special. This being said, we tend to not notice this pace of life until it is too late. Often this catches up to us in a future time when we wished we had one more moment with someone who was taken from us, we wished we had one more chance to say what we really wanted to say. I cant help but connect this to a recent country song by Scotty McCreery-“5 More Minutes” the verse that sticks out to me the most is this:
Time rolls by the clock don’t stop
I wish I had a few more drops
Of the good stuff, the good times
Oh but they just keep on flying
Right on by like it ain’t nothing
Wish I had me a pause button
Moments like those Lord knows I’d hit it
And give myself five more minutes
Imagine what you would feel like and how strong your relationships would be if we took 5 more minutes to enjoy what we have before rushing off to the next task and activity. When we have kids to our lives, it complicates things more and more and takes even more time away from the relationship. By making your relationship a priority and spending time making that so, you can begin to find a connection with your spouse that you might not have experienced for some time. Multiply this by the days and weeks that you put in more effort to connect and take a few more minutes, and you will begin to watch your relationship grow to levels that you would never have imagined!
Our society frowns on being slow, but I for one find it to be almost more enjoyable and fulfilling to go against the grain! Life is a short thing as it is, we don’t need more reasons to make it any shorter or faster than what we are given. I challenge you all to start to take an inventory of how you send your time. Slow and practice noticing life. Use your senses to see, hear, feel, taste, and experience the world around you in a whole new light. Be willing to take the risk and just be a person with your spouse, notice them, appreciate them, and connect with them as humans and people in the moment without a screen. Go for a walk without music or a watch and just enjoy your time. Play a game with your kids and just be present with them in their excitement. Life can be so much more rewarding when you slow down to take it all in. We can learn so much abut ourselves by enjoying the moment and finding what makes us us. Your significant other is just that, a significant other in your life, treat them as such and give them the time and attention that they deserve. Learn to live in the moment and for the moment and you will truly find happiness and success in ways that you could never have dreamed. Sometimes slowing down is the best thing we can do to fully and truly live.
If you struggle to connect or feel like you and your partner are speeding though life on separate tracks, get in touch so we can help you slow down and enjoy each other more!